


Out Here In the Desert

by alpheratz



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Post-MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpheratz/pseuds/alpheratz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know that big ball of radiation we call the sun? Well, it'll burst you into flames if you stay in one place too long. That is, if the static don't get you first. (Post-band gen.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Here In the Desert

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write this to get out my feels. Consequently, it may not make a lot of sense to anyone else.

Mikey didn't look great when Gerard picked him up, and he visibly flinched when he saw that Gerard had chosen the Trans Am. But he didn't look too bad either; he didn't lean against the passenger door like he didn't really want to be there. That made Gerard feel even lighter, any lingering sense of wrongness gone because Mikey finally wasn't trying to make himself look smaller in his presence. 

Anyway, he'd agreed to the trip in the first place, which meant they were definitely okay and that Mikey was going to be, eventually. That didn't mean Gerard was going to wake him up when he pulled into a Starbucks drive-through, or when the third CD he had in the stereo ended and he would've had to lean over Mikey to grab another.

Mikey didn't wake up until the road took an odd curve south and the morning sun hit him full on the side of his face. 

"Fuck," Mikey mumbled in a voice full of grit.

"Cupholder," Gerard instructed, and Mikey reached down blindly between the seats to paw at the coffee cups. "Other cup, _other cup_ ," he added, panicked, when Mikey's hand landed on the second one Gerard got for himself. It was always sad when he had to drink his coffee before anyone else.

Gerard didn't have to look at Mikey to know that Mikey rolled his eyes, but at least his coffee was safe.

Mikey attached himself to the lid like a facehugger, and for a while all Gerard heard were the sounds of a desperate man stumbling upon an oasis in the desert and the pavement purring under the wheels.

By the time they got far enough away that everywhere around them was flat and reddish yellow, it was very late morning, and Gerard finally decided he didn't give a fuck, he was just going to drive off the road and make sure no fucking cars were going to bug them either. 

"If I was going to pick someone who'd take me to the desert and abandon me there... well, I'd have to think about it, but I'd've put on the tail end of the list," Mikey suddenly said.

Gerard threw a look in Mikey's direction and hit the brakes. Mikey was wearing wraparound shades today, new and shiny in contrast to the familiar hair and clothes Gerard had seen on him for a couple of years. 

"Abandonment isn't on the setlist," he said, killing the engine. 

Mikey climbed out of the car, his limbs unfolding awkwardly. Gerard watched him take off his hoodie and ball it up in his hands, throw it onto the seat, and got out of the car too. 

It was quiet and hot and very dry.

"You took me to the desert," Mikey said slowly, taking in the view. The air before them shivered in the heat. 

Gerard nodded, and then his stomach turned over when he heard the little gasp and stifled noise that he still, still remembered from years ago. "No, Mikey. Mikey, don't cry." 

Mikey was covering his face with his hands and Gerard let him hide even as he hugged him tightly. "That's why I took you here, don't you see?"

Mikey shook his head, his bony knuckles digging painfully into Gerard's skull.

"It's still here," Gerard said, moving his head away a little so Mikey would hear every word. "It's still here. It never went anywhere, we still have it."

Mikey moved his shoulders so Gerard had to let go of him. "Yeah, and you still have this fucking car, but it doesn't mean the same thing anymore."

He kicked out with his foot, whipping up a small cloud of sand and dust that settled on both of their jeans, and pressed his hands harder to his face. "Fuck."

"Okay," Gerard said firmly and touched Mikey's wrists. Mikey's hands fell down limply. His eyes were red-rimmed and it hurt Gerard to look at them, because he'd done that, done it again, even though he had to and they had agreed. "Come here."

Mikey let Gerard maneuver him around so Gerard's arms were wrapped around his chest from behind, Gerard's face pressed between Mikey's shoulder blades. 

"Look at it," Gerard said loudly, mouthing every single word into Mikey's shirt to make it sink in.

"I'm looking, god," Mikey said, annoyed like he had as a child. 

"How does it mean something different than it meant before?" 

Mikey sighed, still sounding so fucking petulant Gerard had to try very hard not to laugh. "We were doing something here before. Now it's just another fucking thing I don't have anymore."

"It's just the desert."

"Wow, look at you claiming there's no deeper meaning in shit."

"Hey!" Gerard poked Mikey in the sides and then clutched him tightly around the waist. "I'm _telling _you the deeper meaning."__

__Mikey sighed again. "Fucking fine. Lay it on me."_ _

__"No one took this away from you. No one took anything away. It's still here. The, like..." Gerard took one hand off Mikey's waist and gestured around the desert blindly. "The memories and the ghosts, all of that's still here if you look and think about it the right way."_ _

__"That's your album concept, not real life."_ _

__"Fuck you, my album concept's so good you can't tell it apart from real life."_ _

__Mikey elbowed Gerard in the waist, lightly but with enough force to make Gerard back off, and sat down on the sand._ _

__"Dick," Gerard said mildly and sat down next to him. Mikey's hair was already whipped into stringy strands by the wind, caught between his face and the black plastic frames of his sunglasses. Gerard combed through it gently with his fingertips and wiped his hands on his pants. "I love you."_ _

__"You took me to the desert, hours away from an espresso machine, to give me a pep talk that makes no sense," said Mikey, resigned. "I don't know why I expected anything else, actually. So I'm not mad."_ _

__Gerard nodded. "I picked you up that early so you'd be suggestible."_ _

__"Gross," said Mikey, but the corners of his mouth twitched, so Gerard counted it as a win._ _

__Gerard tucked a strand of hair behind Mikey's ear. "I'm sorry I made things hard for you."_ _

__Mikey exhaled irritably but didn't jerk his head away from Gerard's hand. "It's not your fault."_ _

__"It is, though. Just because I had to do it doesn't mean it's not my fault."_ _

__Mikey pursed his lips and finally turned his face to look at Gerard straight on, even pushing his sunglasses up so Gerard could see his eyes. He looked so tired it Gerard felt groggy in sympathy, but his eyes were clear and lucid, and way less sad than at any time Gerard had seen him in the past six months._ _

__"I'm your little brother, but I'm not a little kid," said Mikey patiently. "I'll deal with my shit. All these ghosts you say are still here, I'm dealing with them."_ _

__"Okay," Gerard said. A gust of wind carried prickly sand with it, blew it into their faces, and Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and quickly reached out to lower Mikey's sunglasses onto the bridge of his nose. The nose ring still made him want to make merciless fun of it, but he'd held out this long. He wasn't going to break his streak. "You got a crew, though."_ _

__Mikey laughed, the sound rattling dryly in his throat._ _

__"You still have us," Gerard insisted. "That's what I'm telling you, fuck. Nothing really went away."_ _

__"Some things went away."_ _

__"Well," Gerard said, shoving the helpless feeling further back into the recesses of his mind. "But not me."_ _

__Mikey smiled, then, finally, and propped his chin on Gerard's shoulder. "No. I'll give you that one."_ _

__"I got some bottled frappucinos at Starbucks," said Gerard. "They're in the backseat."_ _

__"My motherfucking hero," said Mikey. "Keys."_ _

__Gerard tossed him the keys and Mikey unfolded himself to his full height. When he sat back down and handed Gerard a bottle, he said quietly, "Thanks."_ _

__Gerard clinked his bottle against his brother's. "To ghosts, baby."_ _


End file.
